The Universal Closeted Self

Ash Beckham is probably the most influential motivational speaker with whom I crossed cyber-paths with this year. This speech pulled my spirits out of the pits when in the midst of struggling my way out of some of my own ''closets''.

Highlights of Ash's speech (and other tidbits):

Your closet may be telling someone you love her for the first time [...] or telling someone you have cancer, or any of the other hard conversations we have throughout our lives. All a closet is is a hard conversation, and although our topics may vary tremendously, the experience of being in and coming out of the closet is universal. It is scary, and we hate it, and it needs to be done. 

-Stress is rooted in basic survival instincts known as the "fight or flight" response, which triggers chemicals in the brain and body designed to help us manage a threatening situation. Familiarities of stress: racing heart, sweaty palms, butterfly-filled belly. It is also possible to experience low-grade, ongoing stress without those immediate symptoms. The chemicals that the body produces are the same, however, and negatively affect the body at the cellular level. (Brain stress) 

Hard is not relative. Hard is hard. Who can tell me that explaining to someone you've just declared bankruptcy is harder than telling someone you just cheated on them? [...] There is no harder, there is just hard. We need to stop ranking our hard against everyone else's hard to make us feel better or worse about our closets and just commiserate on the fact that we all have hard. At some point in our lives, we all live in closets, and they may feel safe, or at least safer than what lies on the other side of that door. [...] No matter what your walls are made of, a closet is no place for a person to live. 

''I had spent my entire life trying to not disappoint these people, and now I was turning the world upside down on purpose. I was burning the pages of the script we had all followed for so long, but if you do not throw that grenade, it will kill you.''  

-EXPLODE INTO A ONENESS THAT IS YOUR TRUEST AND MOST AUTHENTIC SELF-

THREE STEPS TO THAT SELF-APPROPRIATED FULL-HEARTED EXPLOSION:

- Take the armor off. Be yourself. If you want someone to be real with you, they need to know that you bleed too.
-Number two: Be direct. Just say it. Rip the Band-Aid off.   (Be AUTHENTIC!)

- ''Be unapologetic. You are speaking your truth. Never apologize for that. And some folks may have gotten hurt along the way, so sure, apologize for what you've done, but never apologize for who you are. And yeah, some folks may be disappointed, but that is on them, not on you. Those are their expectations of who you are, not yours. That is their story, not yours. The only story that matters is the one that you want to write.''  

Watch Ash rock the world a bit